Still quite in a state of shock and confusion to be honest about the tragic events that took place in Paris on Friday November 13th, 2015. Back in Paris and living my life as I did before seems naive yet comfortable. How does one react to acts of terror?  I was told today that, ” The show must go on”.  How?

I first found out about the Paris attacks in London. Unassumingly laying comfortably tucked into bed wearing a bathrobe, I was in the middle of a fabulous fall break outside of Paris. I left to escape my reality, stress and anxiety of everyday life. What I returned to was more stress, uncertainty, confusion and sadness.

From around 10 pm until 4am I watched the notifications, emails, breaking news messages come in. I felt absolutely helpless.

Writing is a way to work out feelings as they develop. The truth is I still do not know how I feel. I am home in Paris now. For the moment I feel safe and comfortable. Time will tell what the future will bring.

I’ll leave you with the words I kept repeating to myself as I took the train from St. Pancras to Gare du Nord:

” I will not be afraid. Life must go on. I will go home. Home to Paris”.